Love, once considered the most intimate and unpredictable of human emotions, has slowly transformed into a transaction. In the capitalist age, affection, desire, and companionship have all been rebranded as commodities, something to be optimized, compared, and consumed. The modern dating landscape feels less like serendipity and more like a marketplace where we browse, evaluate, and discard potential partners as easily as adding items to a cart.

The Marketplace of Love

Under capitalism’s influence, love has become a product. We evaluate potential partners based on an invisible checklist- looks, education, income, social capital-just as we might compare product specs before making a purchase. The cultural narrative of “finding the one” now comes with a dizzying list of expectations: someone who is not only emotionally compatible but also intellectually stimulating, financially stable, sexually satisfying, and socially presentable.

 Love, in this context, becomes less about connection and more about completion, a project to manage rather than a relationship to nurture.

The Dating App Economy

Enter dating apps- the logical next step in love’s commodification. What once involved chance encounters, mutual friends, or long conversations has been replaced by swipes, likes, and algorithmic matches. What took ten minutes of casual swiping in 2015 now demands hours of what users jokingly call “date-min”– dating administration. Profiles must be updated, bios curated, and photos filtered to perfection. It’s efficiency at the cost of intimacy.

The process mirrors capitalism’s endless cycle of consumption. There’s always the temptation to keep swiping, because what if the next person is better? The gamification of dating has turned connection into competition, transforming human beings into avatars in a digital colosseum of approval. We forget that behind every profile picture is a real person, not a product listing. 

“It’s like shopping on Amazon for a partner and asking if they meet particular specifications- but they’re a human being, not a product.”

Performance vs. Reality

Social media adds another layer to this performance. Relationships are increasingly curated for public display, with couples showcasing milestones and “Instagram-worthy” moments while concealing the arguments, uncertainties, and mundane routines that make love real. This illusion of perfection fuels dissatisfaction and comparison, making genuine connection feel inadequate. We end up performing love for others instead of experiencing it for ourselves.

The Dissonance of Modern Love

We’re caught between two worlds: the enduring, if imperfect, love our parents modeled and the hyper-efficient, image-driven dating culture we inhabit now. Many of us romanticize the past, imagining love before dating apps as simpler or more authentic. But truthfully, relationships weren’t easy then either-people often stayed in unhealthy marriages or “put up with” things that would now be deal breakers. The difference today is that we have the language, platforms, and awareness to demand more. 

Yet, paradoxically, the same technology that empowers us to choose freely also keeps us perpetually searching.

Reclaiming Connection

Maybe the real question isn’t whether dating apps are killing genuine connection, but whether we’ve forgotten how to nurture it beyond the screen. These apps aren’t inherently evil- they’re just designed to make you stay, swipe, and spend. From their perspective, the goal isn’t for you to find love in the real world, but to keep you in the loop, paying for subscriptions, seeing ads, and engaging endlessly.

So maybe reclaiming authentic love starts with slowing down. With remembering that people are more than profiles, and connection is more than chemistry or convenience. Love is messy, time-consuming, and often uncomfortable- but that’s what makes it real.

Because at the end of the day, love isn’t an algorithm to solve or a product to purchase. It’s a deeply human process of learning, unlearning, and showing up- for ourselves and for another person.

And honestly, isn’t that what we’re all still looking for, something real, beneath all the swipes and screens?

– Jahanvi Mishra ( Trainee Counsellor)